You may never have the
opportunity to catch a glimpse of my bedroom but the colour distribution speaks
of deep thoughts of balance. On the wall closest to my bed-stand is a wall
poster featuring an interior décor of enviable taste. White sofas, wall
paintings, potted plants, well lighted shades and granite flooring. The poster
gives a nice concept and it’s finer than the room hosting it. Anyone would
think it’s a simple wall poster but beneath it lies a date. A written date that
serves to recall when something dramatic happened in my life. Something
dramatic!
It was barely a fortnight into a
certain day in December, if I recall correctly. Words were exchanged from the
heart, then came an action and then a reaction. It didn’t end too well. A
marker encountered the wall and a specific date was written in very bold
letters. A date that was meant to be remembered and to keep me in check.
As the preacher spoke about
forgiveness this morning in church, the date flashed through my mind and then I
remembered I had used a poster to hide it. It was hidden quite alright but I
could see through it in my mind. I recalled all that happened that very day and
what led me to paste the poster weeks afterwards. I had made up my mind not to
forget the incidence and giving the nature of my mind, I needed to have a
reminder. One that would be there when I sleep and when I awakened. It was that
important. At least to me!
Years later, the poster still
hangs where I hung it, with a drooping dog ear at one edge. The date definitely
still behind the beautiful image. The difference now is that I have no longer a
need to be reminded of the incidence and why is that? The answer is simple, I
have forgiven the incidence, the person and the act itself. It didn’t happen in
few counsels, not in just some days. It took me some energy and a lot of mind
renewal to look at the poster and not visualize the date beneath or the event
that led to it. I still remember though but I have forgiven and it stands to
remain so. I can’t say why I held on so long but I have let go completely now.
I did a mental search for more
‘posters’ that hold clues to an unforgiven act or an event that hurt or a
person that wounded me. I wouldn’t say I didn’t remember any other but it
didn’t matter anymore and that was the crux of the issue that the preacher
stressed today. He mentioned that forgiveness does not recall the past. It does
not remember via written dates. It does not highlight the annals of life. If we
do not forgive, we owe a debt in advance. It will definitely be paid back and
paying back debts isn’t so rosy an act.
When the Lord taught his
disciples to pray, he clearly mentioned that forgiveness is reciprocal and as
we forgive others, so we get forgiven by our Father in heaven. If we don’t, He
wouldn’t.
You would probably recall one or
two people who really do not deserve forgiveness. Do you remember the massacre
of children in a certain public school in Nigeria few weeks back? Defenseless
children sent to read and become educated by well-meaning parents. Only to be
butchered by men who do not fear God. Men who wouldn’t kill their own children
in like manner yet acted dead in their consciences.
Maybe the recent Nyanya bomb
blast in Nigeria too, killing innocent bystanders and commuters on their way to
work on a Monday morning or is it the abduction of female children who are yet
to be located. Some people clearly do not deserve to be treated like humans or
even given a space of consideration in the forgiveness terrain…but that is the judgment
of man.
The Lord says to forgive those
that use us, spite us and hate us. It is definitely not inborn in any man to
just forgive and that is why if you do not know the Lord, your act of forgiveness would have limits and when one has limits, certain things are impossible to
attain.
There are incidences of robbers
stealing hard earned money and killing in the process, or kidnappers who feel
they are to be feared and their orders obeyed. What about gang rapists or the
jungle judges who mete out punishment without permitting a fair hearing first.
How much forgiveness can one store up for all the wrongs committed against us
and others we could have stood for?
Forgiveness is not an easy
endeavour. Little wonder an English adage say’s “To err is human, to forgive is
divine”. As much as forgiveness is divinely instituted, it is yet humanly possible
irrespective of the offence or act.
Any excuse can be given for
holding a grudge against someone or not forgiving a particular wrong but under the standard law of Love exemplified by Christ Jesus, no excuse is worth
hearing. Some things can be very tough to understand, I tell you but from
experience time, exposure, relationship and growth brings to limelight that
which we feel can never be attained or achieved.
I do not know if you have a
beautiful poster like my own. One that no one knows what is lurking behind or
what it seeks to hide. People see a nice picture but you know what is hidden
behind. I cannot tell if you look so nice and calm yet in the burrows of your
heart there are people that you have caged in unforgiveness. You have reasons
to not forgive them, maybe there is a child to show as proof or your life has
changed course because of the incidence or perhaps you have lost opportunities
to become a better person because of what someone did or you may have listened
to counsel that ruined you or maybe it’s you who needs to forgive YOURSELF…
many are left unsaid and many are probably too gruesome to be mentioned or
understood by anyone but the victim yet irrespective of what happened and in no
guise of acting like a Holier-than-thou personality, I put it to you that you
still have to forgive, you could choose not to forget but you MUST forgive.
Forgiveness is a personal decision,
once you decide to forgive, the will is activated and the means and strength finds
a way to you. So hard it was for me back then and I still grapple with some
aspects but daily I pray for strength to be better and perfected in my course
of life and daily I see a growth. If you start today you will know that
practice indeed precedes perfection
Practice forgiveness, not because
I urge you but because it is the right thing to do and though you may look like
a sissy before men, I can tell you that in the sight of God you are his hero-child.
The one that does not forgive
burns the bridge that he or she would one day use. No matter the offense, no matter the
consequence suffered, you can forgive if you choose to and only men of worth
make choices that are worthwhile. You have to forgive HER, you have to forgive
HIM. Not because any of them deserve it but because you need to live a better
life, one that is devoid of drawbacks.
I may not take down the poster
because the wall looks better with it but now when I look at it, I see no
wrong, I see no date, I see nobody, I see nothing but the path of grace that
has lead me all through life. The poster is now just a poster to me and you
know why…because I FORGAVE. Have you forgiven? Completely???
Mat 6:14 “In
prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't
get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you
refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part. (MSG)
Mat 18:21 “At that
point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a
brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?” Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try
seventy times seven. (MSG)
