LIFESTAMPS ... lifelong lessons: FAMILY TIES

I walked through the gate into the silent compound. It looked peaceful. I called the number again to be sure I was in the right place. He picked and asked me to come in. The moment I entered the house I saw pictures in frames, on the wall. He had children, daughters. They were young. They were youths indeed.

I sat in his sitting room. He had a simple setup and the house looked like a home. A nice home. I could see his shelf of books from my position. He had quite a nice collection of expensive and rare books. I definitely knew that this man was the man to see concerning the advice I needed. I was in the right place and I knew it.

I was in the house of an Architect. He was a trained architect but he hadn’t practiced for more than twenty (20) years and he wasn’t regretting. He had become committed to teaching people biblical principles. He told me about his students that come from different parts of the continent to attend studies in his house. He was enjoying what he was doing. This was Architect Yashim, the man that gave me a word about my family.

I had met him because I needed to publish my first book. I had finished the proof-reading and I was eager to let the world read me. It was my best collection of poems and it was my first brainchild. You can imagine my excitement. I had the copy of SINCERE TESTAMENT in my hand as we spoke. I was a proud author, though unpublished.

This Architect was recommended by a friend, so I had come to seek his advice on the way forward. He took the book, looked through it and commended my effort. He told me that many who have become successful publishers never came this far. He was a bit surprised that I had worked this hard and this was not my academic field. We kept talking and we delved into my future dreams. I told him my aspirations and he halted. Listening to me proved that I had quite an ambitious spirit. It was then he spoke.

He told me that it was good to aspire the way I did and that with the dreams I had going in my head, there was no stopping me from becoming even greater than I even envisaged. He had evidence in his hands to prove that I was a diligent person, for no one less diligent would write the much I had written. He told me that I wasn’t to stop dreaming and I shouldn’t ever be discouraged even if the book I had written wasn’t published in the manner I hoped it would. He asked about my parents and how they felt about my talent and the education I had acquired. I told him they wanted me to take up a job near them and that they were not so much in support of my dreams.

He looked at me and said

“Charles, never sacrifice your family for your ambition”

He went on to say that a man’s ambition could give the impression that he cares not what happens to his family. He said that my ambitions, if not checked, would distance me from my family and it was not worth the price I would pay for it.

For a moment I felt he was in support of my parents. After all he was a father himself from the pictures I saw on the wall and all I believed that most parents never take out time to understand their children. They just decide what should happen and never even care that the one they are deciding for has his own plans. I kept listening to him because his tone was not confrontational and he was actually very convincing.

Was this all I came out here to listen to? Why couldn’t the man tell me how to get a publisher or how to get a scholarship to study abroad? Better still he could just link me up with one of his numerous bible students and they would get me well placed outside this country. Here he was bursting my bubbles.

A part of me didn’t want to listen to him but a greater part knew that he was making sense not just in the present but in the yet-to-come future. I calmly had a rethink over all he said and I felt a lot of pressure drop in my heart. I had a deadline for publishing SINCERE TESTAMENT and here I was, rethinking my ambitions. I there and then decided silently in my mind that I would make sure that all is well with my family and me before I pursue whatever ambition it was that I had. I didn’t make this known to him but it was obvious that he had made an impact in my by his words. We chatted some more and I took my leave.

I returned to my little town and I settled down. I stopped troubling my parents and I killed many dreams, for some dreams I pegged a date and for some others, I just let them float into oblivion. My eyes had been opened to what really matters and family really matters everytime.

Its many years since I heard from Architech Yashim but his words still ring in my ears and I had used those same words to still the raging spirits of youths around me. I tell them that my ambitions are far more than theirs but I have learnt that I shouldn’t sacrifice my family for my ambition. I work near my parents but I am independent now. I live near them but I visit on my own terms. I see them when I can and no one puts undue pressure on me any longer. I have made quite a lot of progress without bolting away into some distance. I have achieved almost all I had in mind to achieve when I met the Architect and I achieved them without the original game plan of complete independence and the ambitious spirit.

I still dream but not until I have considered how beneficial it is to those around me, how detrimental it is to those I love and how profiting it is to the kingdom of God that I share. I am wiser today because I listened and didn’t break the family tie that God entrusted me with.

I am what I am today because I have the loving support of my family. I will soon grow a nuclear family in years to come and I hope to inculcate in them the need for strong family ties.

I am indeed grateful to the humble Architect that dropped a word in my spirit years back and today my family values me more than I had ever speculated they would. I love them and knowing fully well that God made me a part of them without my consent, I know that it was meant to be especially for my own good. I am glad to be part of them and nothing raging on my inside will be enough to break the tie, till death do us part.