Have you ever had a full day
before? Not one that is loaded with work or projects or visitations or the
burden of personal achievements. Have you ever come to a point when all seems
to be giving way? You are not depressed. You are not broke. You are not poor.
You do not lack friends. You do not want for wisdom or advice yet everything
around you seems to crumble without prior notice. You are just pissed!
My today was a hell-of-a-day.
My
brother is burning a time I don’t have answering questions I asked. I needed
brief answers, he gave me lengthy unabridged talks. My mum is mimicking the
worst of patients and in such situations I am the worst of doctors. My bedside
manners are way off course. I am unlearned in the handling of patients that are
also relatives. I do not know how to promote adult pampering especially when it
is required. Just like adult education, only elders could probably know what to
do in such a circumstance. My dad is asking for the impossible, to be done
within the unplanned schedule of a time frame that is unfriendly. My sister is
battling with her personal and day to day child-based issues. Where do you run
to? No, not you. where do I turn to?
When you ask for help, people
think you are trying to pull their legs. They try to give you that funny smirk
that seems to say “See who is talking? Who should be asking for help between us
both?” It’s maddening when you are hurt and people expect you to heal others
despite your hurt. To butter it more, they think you are better-off than they
are. That you have no problems. That you are richer than you should be or that
you never have anything that can’t be handled. I will ask to be taught a trick
in computers and people would say I am mocking them and most time would refuse
to even give me a hint saying I would laugh at them. Sometimes I cannot be more
serious that I already am. I don’t know everything and I can’t be everything.
But it’s like talking to the wind.
I daily seek someone who would
see through all these covering and be able to know that blood runs in my veins
too and that my bones are also breakable and the life I have is but one.
Someone who would know that a leader also needs a leader. That temptation are
equally shared and trials don’t choose people to afflict. We all are men and
the day we stop emphasizing the equal grace we share, that day we also stop
exaggerating the propensity we have attributed to people to be super human.
You don’t use a nokia phone, they
know this yet they keep asking you for nokia chargers and to implicate yourself
the more, you dare to look around and you find one. You are nailed! You have
become their permanent bus stop. They see you as a final solution and a grand
collection of solutions. You walk into a situation and people walk out praising
God that He sent help in time. It is annoying to say the least.
I love to be real, not
exaggerated. I like to be human not superhuman. I am me and nothing more.
They all believe I would eat a
tasty meal befitting a prince and have a choice drink to wash it down and maybe
lay on a feathered cushion in an air-controlled atmosphere. Well, I share in
their dreams and I hope to live it soon but my collation tonight is a meagre indomie noodles and some sorry eggs.
I know one thing is sure. I am
kept by His grace and His grace alone and the darkest hour is usually before
dawn. It will sure come and pass.
