LIFESTAMPS ... lifelong lessons: HEARSAY

I heard a knock early one morning around 8 o’clock thereabout. It was early because I normally invest most mornings in some good sleep. I have a habit of working late at night so I don’t really wake so early. A habit I am not proud of anyway. This knock was not welcome at all but I peeped from my bedroom window to see who it was. He was in a morning wear and by the look of things, he had been up for some good hours. I staggered to the main door and after turning the lock, I threw open the door. He smiled and greeted me noticing that I was still very sleepy.

I ushered him into the sitting room. He wasn’t a stranger. This was the husband of my friend and classmate back at school. We had become friends automatically after he wedded my friend. He was someone I knew to have a unique taste in the things he did. He wasn’t one to follow the crowd and he loved to challenge himself in different areas. I couldn’t say why he was in my house this early morning but as he sat down and began to speak, the fog lifted and the misty thoughts in my mind began to clear. He said many things.

He talked about standards and mentioned issues concerning a training I was organizing, he made mention of one of two things that he found commendable and listed some other things I needed to work on as an improvement strategy. He then broached the topic of integrity and spoke on how we can influence people without even knowing. I listened and nodded because I knew that all he said was in line with positivity. Then he mentioned something else.

He recalled a recent incidence in which someone known to him saw an advert I had sent out telling the populace about a training that was to hold in the vicinity and on seeing the poster, the said person tore it and spoke negatively about me and my so called trainings. If I wasn’t listening before, I was now.

I was really itching to know who the person was but I cautioned my mind and tried to focus on the message he was passing across. He told me that the person had a bitter experience of a previous training he claimed I organized and that I didn’t fulfil my part of the deal. The person told him that I collected money from the trainees and didn’t see the training to the latter end. Now my mind was at red alert. I scanned through all the trainings I had organized in this life both within and outside my location and I couldn’t place where this was coming from. I kept scanning as he spoke and the result was still negative so I listened more.

He spoke and began to mention specifics of the training and then it became clear the reference he was speaking about. My mind was calm but I was cold. How could someone concoct this type of information and be so confident to spread it about and spread it so much that someone else was concerned enough to approach me on the subject matter and approach me even when my sleep was sweetest. I wondered.

My friend’s husband wasn’t one to speak out of the blues and he was a very mature person. He also wasn’t in the habit of backbiting or listening to gossip. It was only wisdom to hear him out and for him taking the pains to see me on this issue meant one of two things: either he loved me enough as a brother or he was bothered about my integrity as a friend and colleague. Either way I was honoured by his approach and presence .

I calmly told him about the training in question. I didn’t organize any training. I was called on by a group to help tutor her members on certain computer-based principles. I didn’t know if they were to be charged any fees because I never demanded money. Though I noticed that a skinny bouncer was always at the door trying to make certain of those that went through it but it wasn’t my job description to interfere in their matters. I was there to disseminate knowledge and that I did. The group disintegrated due to a strike action and we didn’t have the chance to finish up the training. Now here was the latest news headlines publishing me as one who took people’s money and never delivered. No one approached me to enquire if I was even aware of the payment they levied upon themselves. It was annoying but I was calm. I told my friend that the news was false and I would never do such a thing. I have lived long enough to know the repercussion of cheating people of their daily bread. The story of Lazarus and the rich man isn’t just a story to me. I would rather be cheated than be the cheat.

I know the story was false but I couldn’t control the spread. My friend was liberal enough to bring it to my notice and if he didn’t I probably wouldn’t even know that such news was circulating somewhere. He went ahead to tell me to be careful with one or two things that I was involved in and cautioned that I should always state clearly the rules of engagement before engaging because many people are peddlers of second-hand information. You can imagine how fully awake I was after all these.

I thought about all the pains and sacrifices I underwent in hearkening to the call of the group. I thought I was doing them a big favour and here I was denting my own shield. It was so bad that someone tore my poster?Gosh! If only he knew how much the poster was worth? If only he knew how much I spent on that piece of work? At least he should have flung it out of a window in the middle of a busy road junction or deposited in the waste bin in one of the populated banks. Not tearing it!

I was almost going to draw a conclusion that would warrant a future reaction in other to forestall such occurrence when I remembered the testimony of one of the candidates of the same training. We were speaking one day and she said if not for that training she would still be a novice with respect to that aspect of computers. Another won a contract from the government based on the training he received and he also called to let me know about that. These were my consolations prior to hearing the concocted news that early morning.

It had dawned on me that we can’t please everybody, neither can we be sure of outcomes despite invested efforts.

An author can only write, it is not in his power to determine who reads and what precise message is gleaned from his write up.

Like my friend encouraged, he asked me not to stop whatever good I felt led to invest in but I should keep my ears open and my spirit sensitive so as not to meddle into circles that misconceive good intentions. What he told me that morning was a clarion call to keep our motives in check against our achievement. I didn’t hear of the news before he brought it and he was not in any position to even know I had organized such a training hence the validity of the news.