LIFESTAMPS ... lifelong lessons: BROKEN

It was during one of those evening fellowship services way back in school. I heard the Minister make a call for those who had broken homes to come forth for prayers. For a moment I thought I didn’t hear well as I saw a mass exodus from the pews towards the pulpit. I began to wonder if I was the only one who wasn’t in the vogue of having parents that were separated. It was alarming the number of people who came from broken homes, worse still was that a number of my friends shared the same fate and I (their friend) never even had an inkling about it until now.

I can’t remember the words that concocted the prayer but I was amazed at the number standing to be prayed for. This incidence I speak about didn’t occur to me until few weeks to the end of last year when a young, handsome, gentleman sought to see me. We fixed an appointment and on the said day he spoke words that humbled my outlook of him.

He told me his academic struggles, the boggles on his mind and the hardship he was undergoing and the reason why he even drew close to me in the first place. I just sat perplexed at what I believe I should only hear in Nollywood movies which I make a duty never to watch. He told me how his parents had separated and how he was going through hell coping with the break up. I asked him if he had attempted suicide and he affirmed, not less than twice. I heaved a heavy sigh. I didn’t know where to start. What do I say now?

I told him to be calm and know that his parent’s fall-out might have affected him but he still had the onus to determine what he would become hereafter. I didn’t have similar struggles to share so I encouraged him and prayed with him. He left me in very deep thoughts. Thoughts of how my relationship and courtship should go so that I never have to struggle in my marriage and build a demonic idea in a child’s head because I and his mother couldn’t patch it through.

I resolved that if I ever get married, it would be for life and I wouldn’t manage the affair how much more the marriage. I never ask a lady out without first forecasting what the future would hold in store for US. US meaning more than just me and her. Sometimes the fear of NO FUTURE would make me decline as I have done countless number of times.

We owe ourselves and our future generation stable economies, sound educational background, solid moral foundations and a straight path to forge their lives by. This can only be catered for if we ensure that our relationship never fail, especially marriage. The right decision for the right purpose, that’s what keeps a marriage. Not the same language or the compatibility when posing in a photo studio.

I am tired of hearing how armed robbers, gang rapists, non-academic students and societal misfits terrorize the positively striving ones just because their own parents missed it. Our parents may have broken up and lived apart but we are stronger and we would do better. If you still double date or regard moral sanctity as medieval or you still play around, littering the environment with nameless children and broken hearts, bear this in mind that you are worse than the rapists and those that unleash moral terror because your kind of act gave birth to them. Let’s stop this plague.

If you are in a marriage, please make it work no matter the cost. Let death be the parting bid. For those who aren’t there yet, before you love the next person, stop and think! After thinking, before you act be sure you want to see it through because the written words below are true.

“The leading experts have warned that family breakdown is a major cause of mental illness. They revealed that children from broken homes are more likely to go on to suffer depression, commit crime and die younger. Such children often suffer behavioral problems such as lying and stealing.”

Culled from thehealthage.com

“For which of you, desiring to put up a tower, does not first give much thought to the price, if he will have enough to make it complete?”