Have you ever tried to win someone
else’s affection? Say a parent, a guardian or someone you wish would turn
around and admire you even without saying words to that effect? Have you ever?
Have you tried going out of your way
to do things you never really dreamt of, just to nail it in the wood of
someone’s tree? Sure you have. It’s never a bad turn to sacrifice or try to
please someone out of your normally comfort zone. It’s not bad at all, that’s
what coexistence is all about, isn’t it? So think I !
When you have to always do it to
please someone else and go home feeling like a big fool or you take a decision
that even death wouldn’t dare you to just because you need to sign an
attendance in someone’s register then it’s not just bad, it’s plain STUPID!
I am a Christian, saved and washed in
Christ’s blood and I understand what it means to be sacrificial, yet I wouldn’t
undermine the definition of self-will. As much as we should love our
neighbours, it falls on a benchmark on how much we first love ourselves and
understand the love concept personally.
I learned not too long ago in life
that people could call you heartless and insensitive and after all the hollow
talk come back to say you have a will that could stem an advice for their
problems. I learned that what sells is not flattery but frank truth dipped in
love and timely dished out. A friend’s wound sells pricey than an enemy’s kiss.
It took me sometime to be myself and
dare to ‘hurt’ those who didn’t think I should. It took me time to realize that
if God left me with my will then no man should force it from me. It took me
time to learn that love wasn’t an excuse for hypocrisy or false living. It took
me time to learn that I am me and should remain so else I wouldn’t value you
when you decide to be you or I wouldn’t know the difference when you act who
you are not.
Life is full of decisions and it duly
counts when the decisions are personal, when the decisions are yours. It pays
to listen to advice, to seek counsel and navigate the channels of wisdom that
you are both privy to and graciously have access to but what counts is the
decision YOU make out of it all. Is it your personal decision?
The course you read, the phone you
use, the clothes that adorn, the car you drive and park, the job you do, the
people you meet, the friends you keep…are they your personal decisions?
Granted, someone who has more knowledge in the field can advice and even
undertake to carry out the project or drive the concept but once you agree to
it, then it becomes your decision. You gave consent so you are to blame or
praise.
Nobody gets far in life who isn’t
making personal decisions, nobody gets mature as should if he or she isnt
calling the shots or agreeing to the called. You do not have to be in
leadership or high ranks to call shots. No! You can do that in your daily meal
timetable, your sleep and wakeup periods, how much you recharge you phones,
where you go and don’t go. They are so many shots to call that you don’t have
to think far or look deep to know whether you are in control of yourself or
not.
There is every need for one to be in
control of one’s decisions, it will tell how much of your personality is truly
yours, it will reveal how much your strength can bear and how dependable you
are and can become. It will help you bear you share of blame and reap your
worth of accolades. It will MATURE you or help you LEAD men.
I wanted to please my parents
academically irrespective of my inborn strength and intellect, I wanted to be
nice to every lady that came close, I wanted to be faultless and friend to all
those that as little as smiled and valued my presence, I wanted to be the good
son, I wanted to be Captain Dependable, Mr Fix It, Solution Expert and the Last
bus stop. Needless to say I lost my personality and my person. I reeked of
another’s perfume while harbouring my body odour. Needless to say I worked
really hard, too hard. Being foolish didn’t even require such hard work. Oh my!
Was I foolish, pardon me…. A fool so to speak.
You can sing in the background and
cock you head to a corner believing I am telling you my life story and glorying
in the fact that this is about me and not you. But I can tell that you still
please people when it’s not convenient, you cheat to pass when it gets too
tight, you hype to be among though with an effort, you lie to feel ok because
you have tried your best…I am just saying. I may be wrong!
We should learn to be true to
ourselves, whoever doesn’t like us, doesn’t. We should learn to be our own
boss, he that would sack us, still will. Why should I lose a battle without
fighting when I had the chance to? You shouldn’t marry because family feels
right and your conscience squeals foul. You shouldn’t take the dip because all
of them have done it and gotten away with it. You shouldn’t do it because you
are under pressure.
Take a cue and even if it’s the first
time be yourself and know how it feels. You are strong in other aspects, why
not try this part? Make your decision and stand by it. You want to sing, please
sing, you want to dance and act when the whole family is all medicine and
ministry? Go for it and be YOU.
Being you is however far from being
wrong or evil or out-of-play from the right. You must have moved tent to the
right side before you can be sure that your personal decision is worth the
push.
I read a course for five (5) years
and decided not to practice, I learnt skills that I decided wouldn’t help my
life’s race. I have made choices that cost me more than the available options,
yet I glory in the gain and loss because they are my informed decision.
You don’t have to be like me, all you
have to be is YOU, nobody more or less. Seek counsel, chase advice, pray God
then step out and MAKE THE DECISION.
It’s never too late to be yourself
and call your spade something more than a garden tool. Its’ never too far gone
to be on the right track. i will rather die in a decision I willing made than
live in one I am compelled to without good reason, but seriously why would I
make a decision that would lead me to death when I have all the answers in the
One who is willing to open when I knock, the One who will give when I ask and
help me find when I seek? If you aren’t making your informed personal decisions
yet then you aren’t living your life yet and may I graciously inform you…born
again or not, life on earth has no spare!
It’s a puncture and you are on the
other side. Show’s over. You are still in the show right now. How will you
play? You can CUT the scene and replay…its never ever too late to change your
course, it’s only too late when you should and still glory in not changing.
My words…your call!
